The Self Part 7: Are you “selfish” in the family? Or preserving your sanity.

ARE YOU SELFISH OR SANE? Is it selfish or sane to ever consider yourself ahead of  your family? (This is no 7 in our series on SELF.) The last time we tried to define selfishness. Today, we’ll look at what some people say is selfish behavior  in the family. Is  your behavior in your family … [Read more...]

The Self Part 5: Selfish vs Selfless (in women)

“SELFISH” VS. “SELFLESS” This is Part 5 in a series of articles about the “Self.” We’re talking about the self here. (This is one in a continuing series of articles about the Self. If you would like to read more on the Self, please see the links to other posts below). We introduce the … [Read more...]

The Self Part 2: Searching for yourself? Flying blind?

Need a new search party? Try you! When children play Hide and Seek, at least the searchers know who they’re looking for. Do we know who we’re searching for when we’re looking for ourselves? Not usually. Which means we’re flying, or searching, blind Because if we don’t know what we’re looking … [Read more...]

The Self Part 1: Do You Find Yourself or Create it?

AND WHY BOTHER ANYWAY? We joked the other day about “finding ourselves.” MANY EXPERTS ADVISE US TO “FIND OURSELVES.” But the philosopher Thomas Szasz and the writer George Bernard Shaw both say, “The self is not something one finds: it is something one creates.” What? S#*! Many wise … [Read more...]


DON’T BE YOURSELF TONIGHT, WHATEVER YOU DO! Some years ago, I saw a great New Yorker cartoon. The New Yorker is a wonderful weekly, of course, and there are many exceptional articles in  each issue but the cartoons alone are worth the price of the magazine. A middle aged-couple is standing in … [Read more...]

How to cope with anxiety from an expert

How to cope with anxiety--from an expert. Scott Stossel, editor of The Atlantic, is a long-time sufferer of anxiety. In a piece called Surviving Anxiety he writes about holding down a high-profile, high pressure job while being anxious about...well a lot! (Photo: Jamie Chung) Stossel … [Read more...]


BE YOURSELF--EVERYBODY ELSE IS TAKEN. GREAT ADVICE, UNLESS YOU DON'T KNOW YOURSELF. -Oscar Wilde, playwright. Oscar Wilde’s instruction to "be yourself"  is terrific unless you haven’t a clue as to who you really are. Then you’re up the proverbial creek. We have to know who we are to be happy … [Read more...]


NO SELF-KNOWLEDGE DOOMS YOU Mad Men’s Don Draper: how to screw up life—your own and everybody else’s. The first job of our lives is to know ourselves. If we fail to do it, nothing—nothing—can prevent us from failure, regret and emptiness. This is brought home today in Salon by Heather Havrilevsky … [Read more...]

KNOW YOURSELF. Are you, You? Do you even know YOURSELF?

 KNOW YOURSELF Are you, You? (I MEAN THE REAL YOU AND NOT AN IMPOSTOR OF SOME KIND?) Do you even know? Have you thought about it lately? (This is part 2 in our series on the self. Part one is below.) Self-Knowledge  is crucial to determining who we are and what we want on … [Read more...]